Returning to the Flock

The Catholic Church, as an authority, would have us believe that the Pope is infallible, that a confession of sins must be made to cleanse ourselves of such sins and that Mary, the Mother of God, had no other children than Jesus. I do not believe these things despite my upbringing. I was raised by my mother to follow these teachings, to walk the path of a good Catholic girl and to become a good Catholic woman. I rebelled, as is cliché of Catholic girls to do.

Stanley Milgram writes in his essay “The Perils of Obedience” “For many people, obedience is a deeply ingrained behavior tendency, indeed a potent impulse overriding training in ethics, sympathy, and moral conduct.” (764). The “teachers” in Milgram’s experiment pushed past their ethical objection to the pain they were inflicting upon the “test subjects.” They had continued on with the sadistic nature of the experiment despite their objection. It appeared that as long as the “teachers” believed they held no personal liability for the “test subject’s” well being as a result of the test procedure, they would continue - going so far as administering the maximum voltage of 450 volts. As a result of the “professor’s” insistence that the experiment must be carried out, they believed that they were following the authority figure within this situation and all in the name of science.

There have been many times that I have rebelled against the constraints of authority. I took a stand against the Catholic Church and refused to own their doctrine that was laid with the supposed strength such that of brick and mortar. Although I had done as was asked of my Mother, I loathed every moment of it. When authority is defied, is it always a negative? I don’t believe so. Something from within my soul was screaming that what the Church would have me believe was wrong. These abhorrent feelings clawed with tenacity at my mind and had pleaded with my intelligence to look farther than what was placed in front of me. I did not realize with all of my angst that this hunger, this driving force behind my defiance, had put me in the engineer’s seat and I was driving a speeding train toward the Truth.

I, as a child, followed the authority of my Mother by adhering to her rules regarding my attendance and participation in the Catholic Church and their sacraments. As I became older, my intelligence began to expand and my own opinions began to form. There became a distinct point in which I could no longer go along willingly; that I was to defy this authority no matter how obligated I felt. I began to feel the obligation to myself, to my views on the Catholic Church and my strong dislike and distrust of Papal authority.

Milgram states that “The ordinary person who shocked the victim did so out of a sense of obligation-an impression of his duties as a subject-and not from any peculiarly aggressive tendencies.” (772). I have pondered what was it that the “teachers” were thinking was their “sense of obligation.” It is very difficult for me to believe that these random people who responded to the newspaper ad or the students at Yale felt a sense of deep obligation to these scientists. I cannot comprehend why they would feel so intense about fulfilling their so called duties. The prospect that somewhere deep within themselves they are sadistic and are taking out their frustrations on the “student” is a plausible reason. Although, there is nothing indicating that to me throughout Milgram’s essay. He takes the time to demonstrate just how ordinary the “teachers” are. There is the possibility that the culture of the time period had a major impact on the “teachers” sense of obligation. My parents and grandparents demonstrated a deeply ingrained sense of obligation and personal responsibility that greatly differs from the culture of today’s youth. It is impossible to say how this experiment would have played out in today’s society. I have not seen any research papers to indicate that repeat performances have taken place. I suspect that there would be an increased quantity of willing “teacher’s” who would move forward past the 300 volt mark based on peculiar aggressive tendencies.

When a person defies authority though, it is not always wrong. A person standing up for what he or she believe is right with a venomous tongue is not either. Other people may find that they are, but that would generally be because it goes against their personal beliefs, morals or ethics as well. Milgram writes that “many people were in some sense against what they did to the learner, and many protested even while they obeyed. Some were totally convinced of the wrongness of their actions but could not bring themselves to make an open break with authority.” (772-773).
I view those people who cannot find a back bone to stand up and fight for their beliefs weak and powerless over their own lives. Henry David Thoreau writes, “O for a man who is a man, and, as my neighbor says, has a bone in his back which you cannot pass your hand through!” (727). I find it infinitely possible to have an opinion, even a very strong one, and vocalize it within reason. There are those who cannot stand up for themselves. They are those who are helpless children, abused persons and those who are disabled. There are logical reasons why that in courts of law they have advocates. Everyone should be equipped with a voice to fight for their beliefs and to take a stand against things that are morally wrong. The teachers in Milgram’s experiment who had opposition to continuing should have made that open break from authority and defied those who would have had them abide by things they found unethical.

My own personal experience with the Catholic upbringing and my open break from my mother’s authority regarding my participation within the Catholic Church, speaks clearly of defiance of authority. I naturally held my Mom in high esteem, but her beliefs were not my own. It was a difficult thing for me to defy my Mom, but I felt compelled to change the course I was on. To exercise my voice, to express my disagreement with her, and to out-and-out defy her took an extreme amount of courage and back bone. Although I defied authority, I pushed my boundaries and in doing so I found much freedom – freedom in God’s grace. It is for that act of defiance that I will forever be proud of because I separated from a restricted, bound flock of sheep and the Good Shepherd has returned me to my rightful flock.

Works Cited:

Milgram, Stanley. The Blair Reader: Exploring Contemporary Issues 6th Edition. Upper Saddle River, New Jersey: Pearson Education Inc., 2008.

Thoreau, Henry David. The Blair Reader: Exploring Contemporary Issues 6th Edition. Upper Saddle River, New Jersey: Pearson Education Inc., 2008.